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  • Anna

8 things nobody tells you when planning a wedding

If this is your first time planning a wedding, you’ll need to see this.

It’s never smooth sailing

You’ll fight with your partner. You’ll have disagreements with your vendors. You’ll have resentment and dissatisfaction with the people around you making decisions that you’re not comfortable with. Fact is, planning a wedding is never smooth sailing. If you’re facing any of these problems below, you’re not alone. So make sure you get them all resolved with your partner before saying “I do”.

  • Not getting the venue you wanted

  • Wedding dress you wanted has been rented out on the same day

  • Unresponsive vendors

  • MIL or FIL making unreasonable demands

  • You and/or your partner getting sandwiched from disagreements from parents of both sides

  • Financial constrains

  • Close friends who cannot make it to your wedding

What are some of the problems you face when planning your wedding? Share them with us.

It’s not just about you and your partner

If you think that the wedding is all about you and your partner, then you’re in for a mean surprise. It’s not just about you. It’s your family, your partner’s family, and all the relatives involved. And trust us when we say this, everyone will want to have a say in how you should plan your wedding. You’ll realise that politics within the family is worse than the politics in your office.

We don’t always encourage elopement (because we’re filial Asian kids), but if you know you have a tricky family situation that cannot be avoided (and will get ugly), then by all means. It’ll save you time, money, and all the headaches you get from dealing with them.

Things that you never thought you wanted will be exactly what you need now

Banquet tables or wooden tables? White table cloth or yellow table cloth? Edible wedding favours or a keepsake wedding favours? These will be the kind of decisions you have to make when planning your wedding.

Pro-tip! Make sure to invest in things that will leave a lasting memory in your guests’ minds. For example, entertainment, good food, fun and interesting program, and a good photographer. Nobody will care if the napkins are folded into a swan, or that the table cloth is yellow. Everyone is there to have a good time and wish you well on your nuptials.

Costs do add up

Have you heard of the wedding tax? The wedding tax is basically a huge mark up on any services that has the word “wedding” in it. For example, a private event at a hotel coulld cost $100++/pax. However, if you mention the word “wedding”, it could go up to $150++/pax for the same ballroom and similar menu. That being said, it’s completely unavoidable since everyone is doing it. And this is why you should always stay within your budget.

The other thing about wedding cost is that the little things add up. Usually the “nicer” items are not part of a package and will require you to top-up extra money. These “top-ups” tend to add up without you knowing. So make sure you refer to your budget chart before signing on the dotted line!

It could cost you your friendship….and kinship sometimes

Friendships and relationships with your family can sometimes go sour because of the wedding planning. Perhaps you went against your parents’ will to do something they didn’t want. Or perhaps you flat out rejected them. Either way, it’s a thin rope to walk on and you need to be very careful in handling them. Don’t ruin your relationship for a single day of “happy” celebration.

Another thing to note is your friends. Don’t be a bride/groomzilla if they are unable to attend your wedding. Hear what they have to say and try to understand their situation.

The guestlist will be your biggest worry

This will probably be your biggest headache up to the very end of the wedding. If your parents are thinking of inviting over 200 guests, then we can guarantee you there WILL be problems. Here are some of the questions you’ll have to prepare yourself for:

  • Do I need to invite this person because I’m inviting that person?

  • How do you collect RSVP from 200-300 guests? Do I need to set a deadline?

  • How do you then sort these 200-300 guests into tables of 10?

  • How do you group these guests? According to family? Age?

  • Which are the priority tables? Which are the D-list tables?

  • Are you allowed to place relatives at the corner of the hall?

  • Are you allowed to put friends near the march-in aisle?

  • What if there’s a family of 11? Where do we put the last person? And with who? Will they be able to get along with each other?

Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong

If you’re hiring a wedding planner, then good for you. This will be their problem. However, for the rest of us who cannot afford a $5,000 wedding planner to deal with the logistics, handling and coordinating with 5-10 different vendors will be the biggest nightmare of your life. These vendors could include:

  • Photographer

  • Videographer

  • Venue manager

  • Hair & Makeup artist

  • Flowers

  • Venue Decorations

  • Car rental

  • Decorator for the bridal car

  • Dessert table

  • Entertainment – Band, DJ, MC

  • Cake

So take a step back and relax because it’s never going to be perfect. Manage your own expectation and just have fun on the day.

Traditions will always make an appearance whether you like it or not

There will always be some relatives who will grumble about your choice for long tables instead of the usual round banquet tables. There will also be relatives upset that you’re serving them a western meal instead of a 8 course Chinese meal. Some will also complain that it’s not in a hotel ballroom. While others will rant on the fact that you opted out of the traditional tea ceremony. You can’t please everyone so take a step back and see how you can incorporate traditions yet remain modern and trendy.

Need extra help to plan your wedding? Contact us at and we’ll be more than happy to dish out some free advice!

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